Managing Emotional Triggers

 In chapter 5 of “Restoring the Broken Pieces, Healing from Childhood Trauma,” I defined triggers, gave an example of an emotional trigger from my husband’s life, briefly discussed understanding our responses to triggers, and discussed different approaches to incorporate into our daily lives that will help us efficiently and effectively manage emotional triggers as they arise. 

In my most recent blog, “Unmuted,” I wrote briefly about a situation I experienced at work with my supervisor. I felt overwhelmed and pressured by my workload and even more so by the fear of losing my job due to failing to meet what I believed to be unrealistic expectations of him.

I needed to speak with him about my concerns, but I did not believe I could. It had only been a couple of months since he stood at my cubicle, staring down at me with anger, sharply criticizing me while co-workers around me listened. I felt humiliation and shame. Much like my younger self standing in the bathroom as my newly wedded stepfather stared down at my nakedness.

I did meet with my supervisor, citing inconsistencies and irregularities with vendors responding to emails and submitting documentation within 24 hours, and I was concerned about being held responsible for that.

My supervisor calmly assured me that I would not be responsible for other people’s lack of preparation and response. He also assured me I would not be losing my position and that the work I put in over the last few months had resulted in a significant decrease in orders acknowledged and orders past due that were followed up on in a timely manner.

As an adult with a master’s degree, a Life Coach certification, and over five years of participating in counseling sessions, I would have thought my supervisor’s tone of voice and glaring stare would not have impacted me as they did.

Something changed after our meeting; the fear of speaking to him and speaking up for myself no longer resides in my subconscious, and the perspective I held our relationship with was in a different light. One in which he, like myself, is not perfect. Both adults and professionals who are committed to what is right and best for ourselves, our co-workers, and the company for which we work. He approaches me differently now. He appears to be thinking through how to respond.

Will I again experience a harsh, critical tone from my supervisor? Perhaps. But the difference will be my response. I am not that young girl. My stepfather does not have any control over my life; he cannot hurt me, and she (I) does not have to be afraid. The adult in me will see to that.

I want to share a couple of strategies from our toolkit that I have incorporated into my daily workday. These self-regulation strategies help me immensely when facing a stressful situation. They also serve to relax me, helping me maintain focus on my work amidst distractions from activities and conversations going on around me.

I love to listen to Christian instrumental music, Spa music, and, on occasion, soft jazz. I also love to read motivational tips and encouragement. For a quick 1-to-2-minute read, I keep a little book to the right of my work area, open to a page for the day, and periodically, throughout the day, turn to read. Lastly, I try to take a couple of brief walks during my workday – being out in nature, and the fresh air quickly rejuvenates both my body and mind.

Managing emotional triggers is essential for maintaining emotional well-being and building stronger relationships. By incorporating self-regulation strategies, such as mindfulness, deep breathing, and positive reframing, you can effectively and efficiently take control of your emotions before they take control of you. The key is consistent practice and self-awareness. Start small, be patient, and remember that emotional regulation is not about suppressing feelings but choosing how to respond to them. With time, these strategies will help you navigate challenging situations with greater ease and resilience, empowering you to lead a more balanced and fulfilling life.